I was talking to Pam, today (her initials are PPP - isn't that something?). And like usually happens when I talk to Pam, the conversation came around to our misspent creative energies and our desire to keep burning.
We lament over stalled passions for creating. We would love to write more, to adventure more, to experience and to BE more - but my goodness, does that job ever get in the way! No time, no energy after spending the currency of each day on winning bread for our employer, then making bread for our home.
But we're fighters, Pam and I. We are QUEENS! We just occasionally have to remind each other.
What is it about the people who have known you the longest that gives them the ability to casually sit you down, open you up the widest, dig the deepest, and find the most illusive little grey dust-bunnies of insecurities, fears, writers blocks and et cetera, pick them up between their thumb and pointer finger, examine them all squinty eyed, say, "huh!" and then blow them away with a wish like they were nothing more than a lost eyelash?
That little thing? Just a tangle of loose particles that were missed by the broom - no right to be the thing that's been holding me back these long months, and I was going mad trying to figure out why. Oh, no! Nothing more than a dust bunny under the couch in my soul. A puff from the cheeks, and it's gone.
Old friends are like that. They always find the stuff our broom tends to miss.
I realized that my time IS my own - yes, there are many places and people it needs to be dibbied out to - but I am a believer in "making time".
I don't have enough time after bath time and before bed time for story time? I'm not willing to let the day get away from me without having that sweet-smelling, warm, pajama-footed boy sit on my lap and rock with me while I read to him about The Last of the NarfaGlumps? No problem...I'll make some!
I don't have the time or energy at the end of the day to write the next chapter in my book?
No problem.
I'll make it.
People tell me it's a juggling act, this whole working mother thing. But frankly, I've never cared for juggling. I couldn't do it when I was graded on it in PE in Jr. High, and I can't do it, now.
But I'll tell you what I can do.
I can be spicy.
Oh yes, make way. Spicy Stepper will return. And so will Spicy Pam. We have dubbed 2009 as the year to bring back the spice!
More drawing in the margins
More experiments in the kitchen
More walking outside - and consequently, more red mittens
More adventure - ESPECIALLY the kind that costs nothing
More tomatoes
More patterned fabric, more patterned WALLS!
More projects littering the corners
More red lipstick
More high heels
More color
More risks
More CONFIDENCE
For I am QUEEN - and this life is mine to reign.
We lament over stalled passions for creating. We would love to write more, to adventure more, to experience and to BE more - but my goodness, does that job ever get in the way! No time, no energy after spending the currency of each day on winning bread for our employer, then making bread for our home.
But we're fighters, Pam and I. We are QUEENS! We just occasionally have to remind each other.
What is it about the people who have known you the longest that gives them the ability to casually sit you down, open you up the widest, dig the deepest, and find the most illusive little grey dust-bunnies of insecurities, fears, writers blocks and et cetera, pick them up between their thumb and pointer finger, examine them all squinty eyed, say, "huh!" and then blow them away with a wish like they were nothing more than a lost eyelash?
That little thing? Just a tangle of loose particles that were missed by the broom - no right to be the thing that's been holding me back these long months, and I was going mad trying to figure out why. Oh, no! Nothing more than a dust bunny under the couch in my soul. A puff from the cheeks, and it's gone.
Old friends are like that. They always find the stuff our broom tends to miss.
I realized that my time IS my own - yes, there are many places and people it needs to be dibbied out to - but I am a believer in "making time".
I don't have enough time after bath time and before bed time for story time? I'm not willing to let the day get away from me without having that sweet-smelling, warm, pajama-footed boy sit on my lap and rock with me while I read to him about The Last of the NarfaGlumps? No problem...I'll make some!
I don't have the time or energy at the end of the day to write the next chapter in my book?
No problem.
I'll make it.
People tell me it's a juggling act, this whole working mother thing. But frankly, I've never cared for juggling. I couldn't do it when I was graded on it in PE in Jr. High, and I can't do it, now.
But I'll tell you what I can do.
I can be spicy.
Oh yes, make way. Spicy Stepper will return. And so will Spicy Pam. We have dubbed 2009 as the year to bring back the spice!
More drawing in the margins
More experiments in the kitchen
More walking outside - and consequently, more red mittens
More adventure - ESPECIALLY the kind that costs nothing
More tomatoes
More patterned fabric, more patterned WALLS!
More projects littering the corners
More red lipstick
More high heels
More color
More risks
More CONFIDENCE
For I am QUEEN - and this life is mine to reign.
1 comments:
You go girl! and watch out Wolrd! Go get em Stepper!
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