Life is Awkward when you Live in a Treatment Center

I work at a Residential Treatment Center for troubled teenage girls.

I love my job.

You learn to expect the unexpected, change the game plan with no notice, and roll with the punches. And laugh. Boy, do you laugh!

These girls are deee-lightful. The teacher's too.

I'm subbing for Larissa (the history teacher) this morning, and on her desk was a compilation of "New Haven Quotes 2008-9" created by the Math Teacher, Weldon, who has a WAY better sense of humor than he has any right to, being a math teacher and all. (just kidding, Windy! You know I think mathematicians ROCK!)

A few highlights from his compilation for your enjoyment:

A voicemail on Weldon's phone from the Spanish teacher: "Hi, honey....Oh, wait, this is Weldon! Sorry man, I thought I was calling my wife. Oh dude I can't even remember why I was calling you, now."

CK at lunch - "I need one of you to scoot over so I can sit down. I can't bend my legs enough because my pants are too tight."

Weldon asks J what's for lunch:
Weldon: "What's for lunch today?"
J: "Bacon."
W: "Just bacon, nothing else?"
J: "Yep, just bacon."
W: "Different kinds of bacon or just one kind?"
J: "Oh tons of different kinds..."
W: "Like turkey or goat bacon?"
J: "No, like ham bacon."

J (when they dumped the chocolate frosting on to the peanut butter bars) : "I just saw God come out of a bowl."

S to L (referring to a pizza cutter) - "It's like a really sharp lollipop."

YC while they are getting ready to make frosting for the peanut butter bars - "Is that bowl full of all butter?"
Weldon: "Yep."
YC: "Can I lick the bowl?"

On bagel day, S is eating her bagel very slowly while L ate hers in about ten seconds. A while later, S is still eating hers and L says, "S, how did you make yours last so long?"
S: "I'm just taking my time and choosing to eat it slowly."
L: "But how are you doing that?"
S: "It's called self-control."
L: "What's that?"

CK at lunch: "Life is awkward when you live in a treatment center."

(and when you wear tight pants?)

And, always remember the sage advice from SR: "Beware the black man with the turban who hangs out on the corner. Seriously, dude. Just walk away."


b. said...

These are AWESOME!!

Windy Dawn said...

Bah ha ha! Gotta love those mathematicians... ;)

But watch out, if you like our humor enough we'll eventually bring out the *math* jokes.