How Many? And our Bump of the Day: Tamsin!

When kind inquirers learn that I am expecting a girl, they inevitably exclaim, “oh, how perfect! One of each!” followed by either “now you can be done!” or “now it won’t matter what comes next!”

This exchange always makes me feel uneasy, and I usually say, “yep!” and make my way toward the crackers and cheese.

The thing is – the situation *is* ideal. But one of each is not perfect. I am a selfish person, and I want dozens of each; and the idea that I should feel content with one of each when I am not content with one of each makes me feel…well…indulgent. Like maybe I should be saving some for everyone else?

And it matters to me very much what comes next, because I ache for my children to have siblings of all shapes and sizes. And I want a house full of strapping sons. And I want to be absolutely spoiled with daughters.

I realize (and am often reminded) that in the popular mindset of 2009, this qualifies me as being either slightly unhinged or extremely irresponsible. I don’t care. I want lots of children.

However. I am also a weak and impatient person who is seven months pregnant (going on twelve), and can’t stand the thought of doing this all over again…and again…and again. I want them all here, now. Dozens of babies in my arms; hundreds of children, all sitting politely at my breakfast table waiting for their morning oatmeal.

I was talking to Jamie (oldest sister) about this last night at Second Sunday (which we happened to move to the third Sunday this month – stay with me). She recently had her fourth – and last – and is positively glowing with it. I watch her in covetous awe as she moves gracefully and confidently through her days, proudly wearing the badge of Mother of Four.

“How did you know?” I asked her. “That you were done?”

She tried to answer me, but what it boiled down to was, “I just knew”.

I recognized that answer. It’s the one everyone gave when I, in my dating years, would ask, “How did you know he was the one?” Well, you just know. Now that I’ve had that ‘I just know’ feeling myself – and can see how it’s different than any other feeling I’ve ever had – I can appreciate the inarguable, beautiful, rich and iron clad truth of it.

I would just know.

Question # 1 – How many children do you want? One? Four? Eight? Twenty? And do you and your partner-in-crime agree?

Question # 2 – How did you know you were done? Was there some defining moment? Some eureka that spoke to your core? Or was it more like, “Okay, I’m good.”

And now, Friends, please meet the bearer of our Bump of the Day:

TAMSIN NORTH.

Don’t you love her name? Tamsin is from Norway, where they have really cool words for stuff. She lives a few doors down from me, is married to a cool guy, and they both have also been known to enjoy a good game of Ticket to Ride. You can see how this is an ideal arrangement.

Tamsin, how far along are you? I will be 19 weeks on Sunday. I love that my weeks start on a Sunday so I can remember how far along I am.

When do you find out what you're having?
Well, we're already pretty sure it's a baby, so we're happy about that. But we'll find out if it's a boy or a girl in two more long, agonizing weeks.

Will Baby North have a really sweet Norwegian name?
Hopefully! Our only problem is that the best Norwegian names are the hardest for Americans to pronounce - and thus the most horribly grating on the ear.

What has been the thing you have enjoyed the most so far about being pregnant?
The anticipation! I look at myself sideways in the mirror every chance I get :)

What has been the thing you’ve complained the most about during this pregnancy?
I still have morning sickness, which means that I feel tired a lot of the time and have to eat a brazilan small meals every day. Poor Nick gets to listen to a lot of whining.

People love to comment when they learn you are expecting. What is the most awkward thing someone has said to you?
This was long after we knew we were expecting, but my dad attempted to announce my pregnancy to a neighbor by demanding that I stand sideways. I generally liked my dad, but at that moment I wanted to punch his lights out.

Is there anything about pregnancy that you didn’t expect or that has caught you by surprise? Something where you’re like, “why didn’t anyone ever tell me…?”
Quite a few things:
1) Waking up from cramps in my legs at night. What the?
2) How incredibly irritable I can get with complete strangers. A woman started to climb over me on our flight home from Norway when I was still trying to get into my seat, and I almost ripped her head off. Almost two weeks later, and it still makes me angry when I think about it.
3) On the flip side, I also seem to have developed warm and tender feelings for pretty much everyone I know.
4) Stuff smells so weird!

Cravings or changed food habits?
Apples and water are the best thing ever! Besides that, the only real difference is that being pregnant is like having MSG added to all of your food. Every flavour is intensified. Sometimes it's great, other times not so much. The other day I read the list of ingredients on evey component of our dinner to find out where the overpowering ginger taste was coming from. Uhm, apparently not from our food because it wasn't listed anywhere.

There are all sorts of ‘wives tales’ about pregnancy – girls make you sicker, you carry boys lower, etc. – have any of them proved true for you?
I will let you know when we know. But apparently we're having a girl because I like to eat fruit. And the Chinese gender predictor agrees. Wait, I thought you carried boys higher and girls lower?

People love to share their own labor war stories when they learn that you’re expecting. Has anyone shared a story that has been particularly unsettling to you?
One friend told me that her anesthesiologist (I can't believe I know how to spell that!) numbed her chest and shoulders instead of everything from the waist down. Not only could she feel all the labor pain, she also felt like she couldn't breathe. The best part? She delivered at the same hospital that we will be using.

What’s the most interesting baby/expecting mommy gift you’ve received thus far?
They've all been great so far. Someone did give us a down-filled toddler duvet that we won't be able to use for a couple of years, but we snapped it right up because, holy crap, do you know how much those things cost over here? Everyone should have a duvet.

What is your go-to item of maternity wear?
I was just thinking about how great it has been that so many of my pre-pregnancy tops from the last year or so are tunics, because I'm still able to wear so many of them. I hate feeling anything tight against my tummy, so maternity jeans have been a must since about 12 weeks. And I have to admit that my very favourite are my pajama pants. We'll probably have to burn them by the time the baby is born.