My Letters to the World (who never wrote to me)

Dear Person Who Left Their Unwanted Refridgerator By the Dumpster,

What were you thinking would happen, exactly?

Just curious.

 - Stepper

Dear Haribo, 

Congratulations on making my most favorite candy ever: the decadent and delectable White Grapefruit Gummie. This creation is transcendent. It has changed my life.

I love you.

However, you are rotten for removing all traces of my obsession from the entire state of Utah. I have looked, Haribo. Oh boy, have I looked. You know, I used to be able to get them in bulk from my Neighborhood Grocery Store. Slightly staled to perfection and everything. Life was good. Now, they expect me to make due with regular old gummie bears. 

Bad form.

Please bring them back, Haribo. You have no idea what you are doing to me. Bring them back, and I will love you, again.

Also: send me a lifetime supply. A good idea, don't you think?

all my love or disappointment (it's up to you),

- Stepper

Dear St. Patrick's Day, 

Are we on for this year?
Let me know.

- Stepper


Carolyn said...

Oh my, I saw the fridge too! Seriously rude! :)

Stepper the Mighty said...

It was gone this morning when I left for work. Probably some good samartitan hauled it to the dump, 'cause they knew today was garbage day.

And our garbage guy is AWESOME.

Lizzie said...

You garbage guy IS awesome, Wyatt and I watch him every wednesday at approximately 12:00pm, we are quality control, and he always gets out of the truck to pick up the flyaway bits... A+

Nae said...

You know, the more you talk about these grapefruit gummies from heaven the more I really want to go and find some. And then try them. Just to know that I have.