Real Men

Today I am angry.

It’s pretty rare for me to feel actual anger rather than its less severe cousins: frustration, disappointment, aggravation, annoyance.

But today, I am feeling the full on inner charring of anger’s fire.

The reason? The suffering of someone I dearly love as a result of the selfish and immature decision of someone who had promised to love and protect her.

I won’t say more because it is not my story to tell – but I will say that there are children involved, and that as some of the women in my family sat on my mothers couch oscillating between the deep silence of helpless sorrow and the heated talk of wishful action – there was a moment that passed between us when our talk of plans to sic our tough-and-rumble husbands/brothers/uncles after the offender to offer him a weighty punch in the face was briefly seriously considered. It was a change in the eyes – a ferver that passed between us that moved for a millisecond beyond ‘wouldn’t it be great’ into ‘possible’.

He is lucky that we have developed a self control stronger than his.

I am finding that this is a far more commonly told story than I ever would have guessed. And the destruction and heartbreak that follows in the wake of these unfaithful husbands boils my blood.

Boys – learn to be men. And if you refuse to put in the work it takes to learn what that means, leave God’s daughters alone; secured fast in the knowledge that you don’t deserve them.

Real Men lead a life of sacrifice. They provide. They provide for the secular needs of their family. They provide a solid and steady foundation for the tender emotional development of their children.

Real Men know what it is to work. They find satisfaction in work well done, but also in the work itself. They are not afraid to roll back their sleeves and get dirty – be it baling hay, landing that business sale, fixing the clogged drain, or rough-housing with their two-year-old son.

Real Men are devoted and loyal, and understand that this is a choice. Real Men take their promise to love and protect seriously – and re-commit to that decision every day. In other words – Real Men don’t let their eyes wander. Real Men don’t entertain other possibilities. Real Men are too busy plotting the next date that they’ll take their better half on.

I am so grateful for the Real Men in my life who get it. Dad. Shawn. My wonderful Bill.
And others who act as proof that being faithful is possible, that it’s normal, and that it’s GOOD. Real Men who not only do what they promised, but step it up and excel. You Men have my deep felt thanks.

And all you fakers who are being complete idiots: you better beware because we women will sic our Real Men on you. And you make them just as angry.


Lara and Jayson said...

Well said!!!!!

Carolyn said...


Jeff and Ari said...

Amen and Amen!! Well said as always!

MikkSolo said...

You go girl!...and Thanks

Grandpa Rusty said...

Sad to see such selfishness and how it hurts others. And here's my sadistic side: someday the selfish will face consequences for their blatant disregard for promises made and hearts broken.
And thanks for including me in the real men category. I'll keep trying to live up to that image.

Nae said...

I am so grateful for the real Men in my life.

Azúcar said...

It's infuriating.

Tammy said...

Tears once again from reading your blog. Tears for those who have broken hearts, tears for the little ones who will suffer from others mistakes over and over - at every Daddy-Daughter date, Fathers and Sons, etc. Sorrow that someone I love has to bear this burden. Feelings of helplessness that I can't take it away