A Working List of the ABSOLUTE WORST Ways to be Woken Up

IN THE MORNING

• Your bony 8 year old launching himself (complete with sound effects) onto your bed and, consequently, your ankles.
• ANYONE uttering the phrase: "Mom, can I play on your iPad?"
• The sounds of the garbage truck...when I forgot to take out the garbage.
• The sounds of something crash-breaking in the kitchen.
• The sounds of kids arguing/fighting.
• a fly/bee/mosquito buzzing near your head.
• The realization that you are very late for the important thing you were going to wake up early for needling its way into your subconscious and slamming a book down in your brain.
• ANYTHING when you were just getting to the good part of the dream. 

ANY TIME

• Your neighbor's pool party that carried into the wee hours, and the screams of delight are turned by your twisted sleeping brain into the horrified screams of your children.
• The phone ringing
• The apocalypse.