A Working List of the ABSOLUTE WORST Ways to be Woken Up


  • Your bony 8 year old launching himself (complete with sound effects) onto your bed and, consequently, your ankles.
  • ANYONE uttering the phrase: "Mom, can I play on your iPad?"
  • The sounds of the garbage truck...when I forgot to take out the garbage.
  • The sounds of something crash-breaking in the kitchen.
  • The sounds of kids arguing/fighting.
  • a fly/bee/mosquito buzzing near your head.
  • The realization that you are very late for the important thing you were going to wake up early for needling its way into your subconscious and slamming a book down in your brain.
  • ANYTHING when you were just getting to the good part of the dream. 


  • Your neighbor's pool party that carried into the wee hours, and the screams of delight are turned by your twisted sleeping brain into the horrified screams of your children.
  • The phone ringing
  • The apocalypse.


Jeff and Ari said...

I believe you forgot throw up. When a kid walks in and tells you they've thrown up ... to me that is the WORST. POSSIBLE. WAY. TO. GET. WOKEN. UP!